One year ago...
was Harry's last post. It was not long after that that we lost him. For lack of a better date, I think I will choose April 29 as the date to mark his departure. I still think of him all the time, and occaisionally I am happy to wake up in the morning and realize I was dreaming about him. Usually the dreams involve playful silliness and they never seem to make sense, but they are always good.
I still do a doubletake whenever I see a white Rover, or a big pony-tailed white-haired guy. I miss you, Harry.
Dago
posted by Harry at Saturday, April 28, 2007
16 Comments:
I do the same double-take myself
JohnCon
Tue May 01, 12:33:00 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tue May 01, 04:15:00 PM
I have also had dreams.
Tue May 01, 04:16:00 PM
I've been putting off touching up this site for a while, just because I didn't want to deal with the thoughts that would be running through my head. But they were still there. So I've done a little work.
There have been so many times when I've thought, "hey, I need to tell Harry this", or like Dago and JohnCon said, whenever I see a Rover I think of the Harry in The Beast. I think about Vegas and the Dead, the islands with Pete and Beth and whomever else was able to go. I think about books and music. I think about going to Grendel's after work, then Shad Hall. I saw an ad on Craig's List last week. The Phoenix is looking for another IT Director, and I wondered if Harry would have applied, yet again. These are just a few of the thoughts I've had lately.
Damn. I miss you, Brown. A year has gone by, and it hasn't gotten any easier for me. I hope it's easier for you.
micro
PS. I added a photo to Dago's post, and tried to fix some of the problems with the blog. The archives for the last few months don't seem to be working, and I'm not sure of the solution, but I'll keep plugging away.
Wed May 02, 01:26:00 AM
Oh, and I've changed the timezone back to Eastern. Sorry Pete & Beth :(
micro
Wed May 02, 01:29:00 AM
Thanks to all for the great old pics and the memories they bring,
I can’t believe that it has been a year since his passing or for that matter that he actually even really did pass / cross over or what ever it is from the actual physical thing to for lack of a better understanding, the just not hanging around with us all any more right now.
Tim
Tue May 08, 10:25:00 AM
I don't have any more information than anyone else... but today, it feels like today was the day he died. I feel things inside that I can't explain - why do I feel suddenly inexplicably like getting hammered for no reason for the first time in 5 years? Why does this lump in my throat keep feeling like crying? Why am I suddenly again so pissed off at the whole thing??
Also, today I came across a bunch of things of his I forgot I even had... forgot I had moved from old houses, forgot I hadn't thrown away, even meant to throw away. Things that were windows peeking into a year ago "today."
I heard a song: "Ah but don’t mind me baby, I’m only dying slow."
And I really think Harry would have liked those new Jeeps with four doors.
May 9th.
Wed May 09, 05:29:00 PM
Yup, the drinking thing, I have been in the same kind of place as of late,
Think of Brown...???
Hey how about a drink for old time sake and perhaps even light some insences.
Tim
p.s. Four door jeep or the rover or the camper?
p.s.s. Yah now that you mention it, I think he would like one, or just be happy enough to ride shot gun in one.
Wed May 09, 10:00:00 PM
The picture of Harry on the PI Beach, that really got to me last week.
Drinking will not improve my situation or help how I feel. I have been guilty of romancing the times with Brown, partying our faces off. But I just think back to where it ultimate led me, and Harry for that fact. Harry is dead. That sucks big. I can't change it. I hope this pain wears off a bit, a year hasn't made me feel any better about Harry's death.
Sorry for the somber mood, but WTF.
Sat May 12, 04:59:00 PM
I thought I was over my denial... I'm not. I thought it would be easier to get through those "Harry would love this" moments and the "remember whens" and the "maybe somdays" ... nope. It was possible that celebrating Harry's life with all y'all last summer would make me keep in touch better... obviously not. But I think of you - and him - so often, and love you - and him - always.
Sun May 20, 03:46:00 PM
2 new pictures up on the flicker page. Thanks ellen for letting me take them last summer. Dickie- I'll send you the original soon. Yea scanners!
Wed May 23, 12:11:00 PM
Hi all... It's so unbelievable it's been a year (plus! now) since a lot of us gathered to say goodbye. I keep thinking it's just one of those periods when we wouldn't talk for a few weeks, and then one of us would call, or mail, and it'd be OK. But that name on my iChat buddy list is always grey, and though I know it will always be, I can't quite just delete it. Someone told me a friend drunk himself to death, someone who didn't know of HB, and I lost it, of all places, sitting in a piazza in Florence. It just so happened that it was May 19. Hmmmm.
Song lyrics, specially Peter's, send me back. Double takes are freaky; I maytotally surprise some guy one day, as the instinct is always to run over and give him a great big hug. I miss you Harry Brown. And you guys, as well. Ellen -- I wish you'd write...
I'll be in Boston briefly June 15-17. Andres will be performing at Berklee saturday evening as part of a workshop he's taking. I'd love to see some of you while I'm there.
Anabella
Wed May 30, 09:29:00 AM
Hello all,
Just visiting again and wanted to say hi to some old and new travelers on my path,
Hope all is well,
Tim
Tue Jun 26, 08:49:00 PM
Sometimes I wish he was lying about this whole thing because he just wanted to disappear. Because he just wanted to purge all his shit and be free. It doesn't seem like more than a year has gone by. It's still like it's just happening now.
Mon Jul 02, 03:24:00 PM
Hello everyone! Hope you're having a good summer. Funny (but not really surprising) how we keep checking in here. Big hugs all around.
~E~
PS - Brendan - Flicker account?
Sun Jul 29, 04:31:00 PM
Hey Ellie,
The Flickr account is old:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/18964563@N00/
or you can search "audreyrose".
Working on a new mac iWeb dealie so Juliet won't feel left out. I'll send you the link if I get your email.
I realized that I only have a few people's email addresses. That should change. Mine is:
brendankeefeatgmaildotcom
I went to see The English Beat at The Tweeter Center (Great Woods for the old school crowd) and I remembered when Harry got me some stagehand work there. It was pretty exciting and we had a great day (as we usually did). Little did I know that I'd still be pushing lights around today. I'll always be grateful to him for that... and more. BTW, The Beat kicked ass.
Happy Relentless Week to all. I'll be thinking of all of you, especially the birthday kids. Maybe next year we can have a real relentless cookout?
Brendan
Mon Jul 30, 03:24:00 PM
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